I am puke
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm both gender and math confused
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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