My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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