NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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