discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
