he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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