Do you still have your period?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
