i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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