i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
