I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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