I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
