wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
