that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
