I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
