I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
