You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
You ruined the universe
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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