You're so nebulous sometimes
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
