you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
