uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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