Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
