I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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