Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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