last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
