p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
