My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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