weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
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