Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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