I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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