His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
