Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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