Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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