Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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