I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
