Soap is not a condiment
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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