I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
