I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
