Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
