The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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