i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
