I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
