Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
