I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
