I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
