it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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