we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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