next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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