Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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