I wish i was in the wii world.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I need moral support for this bender
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
