i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize