my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
