I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
