Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
