no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Im part way to drunk.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Randomize
