woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
