I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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