so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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