even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
