Do vagina's smell?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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