If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
