Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
